A sketch about being drawn to new horizons
God: Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable… Thank you for coming for the interview today.
Person: This is an interview??
God: Yes, but probably not like interviews you’ve done before. You’ve already got the job… So, have you any questions?
Person: I’ve already got the job? I don’t even know what the job is!
God: Ah, but that doesn’t matter.
Person: Doesn’t matter??… How do you know I can do it, then?
God: I wouldn’t have given it to you if you couldn’t do it. And I’ve a good record - I’ve never yet given someone a job they couldn’t do. I’ve been in the business a wee while - you could say I created the whole concept of recruitment. Or ‘partnership’, as we prefer to call it, not ‘recruitment’. You will be working with us, not for us. Trinity Training and Transformation, we call ourselves.
Person: Trinity Training and Transformation?? T-T-T, eh?! A three-letter acronym - all very slick and contemporary - no doubt you’ve got a zappy logo as well!… You mention training - so what training do I get, to do this job that I’m meant to be able to do - but still don’t know what it is?
God: Training? You of little faith! Your whole life has been your training for the job I have for you. I’ve been watching over your life, and guiding it - and if you want to think in terms of business lingo, yes, you do tick all the necessary competences.
Person: But I’ve been making my own choices in life. What if I’d gone a different route in life to what I have done, and not tick all the boxes - what then?
God: Ah, you wouldn’t be redundant - I would have another job for you. I'm creative like that. And everyone can always be a partner.
Person: Look, you’re starting to be a bit presumptive, if I may say so. A bit controlling, even. It’s up to me whether I join your partnership.
God: You walked in the room, didn’t you?…
Person: ...Mmmm… What’s with this ‘Transformation’ thing? It sounds like it involves change - I don’t like that. The world is fine just the way it is, thank you very much.
God: Really??
Person: Well… no, of course not - there are plenty of very annoying people I can think of who could do with changing! And you should watch the News - there’s terrorism everywhere, the NHS is going down the pan - the world’s a mess, it really is.
God: Great - you’ve got the picture - you’re a natural partner! - people need help. And sorry to have to break this to you, but that includes you, of course! But that’s part of the genius of our programme - every partner is transformed themselves at the same time as helping transform other people. Win-win!… Sorry, just allowing myself to be drawn into one of those sales cliches. It’s not about winning. But it is all good.
Person: It’s all good? Including the terms and conditions? What’s the pay?
God: Why does it always come down to pay?! As I say, we would be partners. The risk is mine as much as yours. And we entirely share the benefits. But seeing as you ask, the benefits couldn’t be better.
Person: Such as??
God: What you already have - you’re a partner already - complete security, and everything you need. For life, of course. (And for ‘life’ think ‘eternal’ here, of course.) No company car, though.
Person: Ah, shucks, and there was me starting to dream… But hang on, you mentioned the word ‘risk’ a moment ago, didn’t you? What’s the risk?
God: The risk? The risk is that you don’t know where the job will lead you - rather like how this conversation has gone. You don’t know what the outcomes will be when you start. You don’t know who I will ask you to work with!…
Person: So if I don’t know where the job will take me, how can you possibly expect me to take it up?
God: You haven’t asked about references.
Person: References?? I didn’t even know I was coming to an interview, so I haven’t got any references - I don’t happen to carry them round with me!
God: No, not references for you, references for me. That’s how you decide about the job, whether you take it up or not.
Person: So, ummm, who are your referees, should I know??
God: Ask around, there’s no shortage - people who’ve done jobs with us before, people doing jobs with us now. Some of these references people have written down, but word of mouth works well too. And you are a referee too, of course! You’ve already done jobs with us before - and I’m not aware you’ve felt let down! It’s just that this interview format may be new to you - but that’s all part of the training and transforming experience.
Person: So, err… when would I start??
God: Well, no time like the present, I would say! Let’s go and meet the people you’re working with - though just to mention first, don’t expect others to have had an interview quite like this - we don’t use a bland uniform selection process here - it’s all tailored to be perfect for you! And congratulations for taking up the job - your job! So…if you’re ready?… we’re through this door here…
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Alphaeus adds:The tailored selection process of Samuel in the Old Testament and of Jesus' apostle Nathanael in the New Testament featured in last Sunday's set Bible readings in the Church of England (1 Samuel 3 vv1-10 and John 1 vv43-51).
