The Old Pharisees Club - with Paul and Nicodemus

two old friends chew the theological cud - a sketch

Paul and Nicodemus meet, by chance, in the Roman baths at the Old Pharisees Club in Jerusalem (but not in a state of undress)…

Paul: Well, if it isn’t Old Nic, my old Law tutor from Pharisee School - the man who taught me everything I know!

Nicodemus: Well, I never! Paul, young chap, good to see you - you flatter as much as ever - you always were a political operator! And one of our brightest pupils too - destined for the top. How things have changed for us both since then, eh - kicked out for becoming followers of The Way.

Paul: Yep, and it looks like we both know the same trick of sneaking back into the Pharisees Club to use the baths under cover of darkness - and the mists of the sauna. Of course! - you’re an expert in sneaking round in the dark. Going to see Jesus at night - what a coward - you’ll never live that one down!

Nicodemus: I’m so maligned! I was just busy at work and couldn't get away to see him during the day…. OK, alright, not my finest hour. But the thing was, we were all in the dark, all of us Pharisees, weren’t we? We thought we had it all, with our fine knowledge of the Scriptures - and we knew nothing of God Himself. That night there was a chill wind as Jesus and I huddled under the temple portico, but I felt a warm wind wrap round me as Jesus spoke about the Spirit. When he talked about having to be born again, it was like Jesus was banging nails into the coffin of the secure life I knew, whilst at the same time ushering me to an open door that light streamed through. So when he died, I was ready to nail my colours to the mast and buy the embalming spices for him; somehow I sensed that wasn’t the end, that there was a new birth coming… But here I am, rabbiting on like I’m still your teacher! I understand you saw the light in a rather dramatic way! Everyone’s heard the story.

Paul: The memory’s as clear now as it was that day - the light streamed in so bright, it completely blinded me. I wasn’t just knocked off my pedestal - Jesus took me out with a bloomin’ sledge-hammer!  And how my eyes were opened to how blind I’d been! - that we’d all been. And I know you’re not in this camp, Nic, but some Jewish believers are still blind to one thing - that in the church all are meant to be equal, including Jews and non-Jews - because God loves everyone equally. You would think that Jesus made that clear enough, with his radical inclusive love, but still we persist in our sense of superiority over others. It’s like that in the church in Rome - that’s why I wrote to them.

Nicodemus: Ah, your letter to the Romans… Let me slip my tutor’s hat back on for a moment. I do worry a little that you thought you were writing the thesis for your doctorate - it’s not exactly easy reading for them!

Paul: OK, OK, so parts of it can read like a theological treatise! But I have Pharisee School to thank for sharpening my legal mind so I could present a watertight argument - and that’s what I’ve done; I was on top of my game for that letter, I felt. And I think they will get drawn into it - because I’ve blown holes in the Jewish tradition that we are superior to Gentiles just because we’re ‘children of Abraham’. Yet Abraham was initially a Gentile, of course! God chose a Gentile, so proving that Gentiles were never really inferior for him. He has just taken a long route round to make that completely clear! Jesus told you the same thing, didn’t he?

Nicodemus: Yes, that was his punchline with me - and it was like being punched in the stomach. ‘God so loved the world’, he said. I nearly choked. ‘God loves the Jews’, I thought angrily. ‘He doesn’t love the Romans, the heathen, the idolaters - he hates them. How could he love our enemies??’ I’m more of a pragmatist than you, Paul - theoretical arguments don’t cut it so much for me, despite having climbed the Pharisee career ladder - which is maybe why I didn’t give your Romans letter a 5-star review for the Jerusalem church - sorry!

Paul: Thanks - I knew I could count on you!

Nicodemus: But after watching Jesus love his enemies for those years, that’s what won me over to see that God really must love the whole world. Even including cowards like me!

Paul: We’ve come a long way, haven’t we - from a God of law to a God of grace! And things being free just ain’t natural for people - it’s a constant uphill struggle, I find, to help the churches to get it.

Nicodemus: Well, Paul, I think you’re doing a pretty good job out there in Gentile-land, if I may say so! Rather you than me doing the away-fixtures… Talking of which… there’s late-night chariot-racing at the stadium later - I must be off - fancy coming?

Paul: Thanks, but best keep my head down!  Great to see you, though, old man. Hope to see you around - and don’t teach anything I wouldn’t teach!

Nicodemus: You're a cheeky one! But take care.

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Note to 21st century readers:

See John 3 and Romans 4  (Church of England set readings for today)